As a twenty-six year old male with a love of hip-hop music and an eclectic crew of friends, I had previously assumed I was "down" with the lingo of the day.
No such luck.
As it turns out, a whole new brand of lingo has emerged from the Bronx (or somewhere else, and it found its way to the Bronx, before reaching me). As I don't want you, my friends, in the dark, here are a few of the more notable terms that will soon enter the English lexicon.
I became aware of existence of the "THOT" when one of my students screamed out, in the middle of my non-restrictive clauses lesson, "Shut up! I'm not a THOT!"
Ignorant of the terminology in use, I began analyzing the philosophical implications of referring to a human being being as a "thought."
That thought process soon ended, when I was informed a "THOT" was, in fact, a derogatory acronym, referring to "That Ho Over There."
Contrary to the way I've used "tight" for the last decade or so of my life, "tight" no longer means a good thing, as in, "Yo, these General Tso burritos are mad tight."
Rather, "tight" is synonymous with causing intense frustration or limitation to an individual, as in, "Yo, these teachers be getting me so tight right now."
There's also "dry," which`refers to the lameness or boringness of a situation (i.e. "Bro, you telling stories about your Bar Mitzvah is mad dry.")
3. Lit/Turned Up
On the opposite end of the tight/dry-spectrum is the lit/turned-up spectrum.
When something is, as I would refer to it, "dope," "righteous," or "tight" (which we already established is no longer valid), now, we would vocally express such a positive experience as "lit." For instance, "Ronny's robot dance moves are so lit."
Also, terminology for getting excited, and ultimately, getting into a party mode, is referred to as becoming "turned up." An instance of this is, "Dale is all turned up for this weekend at his grandma's house."
The opposite of this, which Lil' John made so popular, is "turned down." His song, "Turn Down For What" asks the essential question: "Why stop partying?" to which there is almost always a good answer, as in, "for your health" or "because I'm a responsible human being and I have work tomorrow."
But, of course, turning down gets me all tight, and that's totally not lit, so I...have no idea what the hell I'm talking about.
Sandwich 49: Delilah's Steaks
One of the advantages to being a skinny, twenty-six-year-old man is that unhealthy activity isn't the guilt-ridden, dangerous beast it becomes later in life. Things like, drinking bourbon until the sun rises or walking barefoot in the rain through the streets of Harlem are necessary elements of my life. Perhaps the most common unhealthy activity I engage in, however, is my relentless take-down of cholesterol-saturated, calorie packed sandwiches, the champion of which I consumed this weekend.
Delilah's Steaks in Greenpoint (which claims to possess the Best Philly Cheesesteak in NYC) is where I discovered this unholy creature. The sheer unhealthiness of this behemoth transcend all others from history of The Project. It is named "The Samson," I assume after the man who consumed so many of these sandwiches that he is now in a better place.
What is in the Samson you ask? Start with a fried chicken patty, then throw on some shaved steak, add a slab of pork roll, and top it off with a layer on pepperoni. No, this isn't meat porn, it's just a really filthy sandwich. In an attempt to calm the carnage of this creation, they add tomato, onion, a layer of cheese whiz, and a healthy amount of a Siracha-Caesar fusion dressing, then cuddle it into a roll. Here, my friends, is the Samson.
About seven minutes after taking it down with a side of fries and a vanilla shake, I collapsed into a pile of my own filth. Did I awake in the middle of the night with my first case of heartburn ever? Sure. Was it so intense I thought I was burping out flames? Absolutely.
Was it worth it? You bet your Samson it was.